7.17.2006

You are not going to believe what I did today...I took the day off! Yep. Me. And I took my children to the pool. And I wore a bikini. Two amazing things in one day.

Wearing a bikini is frightening to some women, believe it or not. I have issues with my aging body - and although I know it could be so much worse, I (arrogantly) assume that everyone is dissecting my flaws.

As the children were off splashing and going down the slide, I had the opportunity to see one woman laying out in HER bikini, too. She obviously was a regular - not a tan mark on her, but flawlessly bronze. Her top was tied with an organzy ribbon, and the bottom was a small triangle of - a thong?! What? How wonderful to be able to wear a thong to the city pool! Mani/pedi, waxed to the hilt (I am assuming here), flip-flops to match her poolbag, and a cute little visor...not a flaw on her young, pampered body. Good lord, I was drowning in jealousy and admiration. And feeling ohsosorry for myself. Obviously, she had not borne the many children I have, she had not given up her breasts so that her babies would receive the much-touted nutrients, and she did not have to work a day job therefore allowing her ample pool time. Ugh. I could have asphyxiated in my pool of self pity.

But then something amazing happened. As I was swirling around the drain of my contempt, a giant thug of a guy walked in. Beautifulperfectgirl's demeanor changed, and I watched as she shrank into a tiny little shell. I do not know what he said to her, but the words must have been harsh. He was not angry, just very authorative...and brief. She packed up her poolbag, and followed him mutely and meekly out of the pool area. And never came back.

What is the lesson I learned here? I would much rather have my slightly flawed and aging body than live with the possibility that someone could make me their possession. I have freedoms not granted to many, many wives. I do and say and go as I please. I can CHOOSE to be a good wife, but it is never demanded.

I felt badly for her...my self-pity became empathy. And my new goal is to work out so freakin' hard that I can wear a thong bikini SOMEWHERE other than my backyard pool. It might just be to the neighbor's backyard pool, but it will be a thong d*mmit!
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Prickly

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