Blustering

Johnny's Farm
Originally uploaded by tielji

I am hoping that since I used the "Blog It" feature on my Flickr Share button, the picture will turn out clean and sharp. A few times I have been disappointed with the end quality. I am crossing my fingers...

So. What's been going on with you? How was your Thanksgiving? Are you getting ready for the Big Show AKA Christmas?

Things here are odd. I don't know what to call my relationship status, I am still unemployed, and my head is still a bit too noisy for my comfort.

But all in all, I am still a very blessed girl.

I am dreading Christmas, though, and that makes me sad. Dec 27 seems to be a much more preferred day - the pressure of providing a memorable Christmas with all of it's trappings is over, but the excitement of celebrating NYE is still in the anticipatory stage.

*Noisy Head Alert* I hope that I won't be spending NYE alone this year.

Or if I DO end up spending it alone, that I have a nice supply of cabernet, cheese and crackers.
:)

Yes, I am home on Saturday Night. (Wanna make something of it?)

I am settled in...dishes are washed and put in the cabinet, carpets are steam cleaned, and the dressers are full of clean clothes. I will get to have the children every other week - starting tomorrow.

I am a bit nervous about this...their routines will be much different. We will need to get up at different times, and take alternate routes to get everyone to school and work on time. Also, I know that my ability to keep a normal schedule is going to be under scrutiny - and I resent that.

I must say, for the most part, Jerry and I have been able to keep it friendly. We have had to attend many functions together, and it has gone well. However - just when I think we could be close friends - he will do something that just makes me despise him all over again. I think god allows him to do that so that I won't forget why this divorce is okay with me.

I love my new house...I don't like the lack of money. It will take a bit to stabilize and change over the different bills to respective names. Until that happens, I will not be living large. I won't even be living medium size. In fact, the two weeks the children are not here I expect to be eating hospital food for every meal. Or Kenny's food. Whatever. Discounted/Free Food is what I am referring to.

I took the camera for a walk today. It was our first date together since it came home. I was so happy on the way back that a couple of stray tears of gratefullness rolled down my face. Those moments are the ones I try to write on my heart.

I do seem to have more good moments like that than bad ones. But the bad moments are very intense. Very black. Very lonely. Very hopeless. I understand these get less and less as time goes by...and I know that I don't want to skip any steps in healing. I will not come back and repeat any of these lessons. I just won't.

...all in all, things are progressing nicely. For now. That is all I can ask for!

I hope things are good for you as well...
;)t

Honey, I gotsta go...

Today is moving day.

Well...really, it is the beginning of moving days.

This will take awhile.

I have never been happier in my life.


AND- my camera is ready to be picked up.


Who knew that what I thought would be the end of my world is only the beginning?

YAY!

In the Rearview Mirror...

(apropos of nothing...Jessa's bachelorette party)

I swear to you that sometimes I do not know what I am feeling until I sift through my words like an archaeologist, looking for little pieces bones. Brings to mind Peter Gabriel's' Digging in the Dirt...
(Digging in the dirt, to find the places I got hurt...)

I was walking away from the computer after my last entry, shaking my head and marveling at how little detail I provided and how emotionless I sounded. But there really were so many emotions about that night!!

Number one: ohhhh ...my camera. My beloved camera. An extension of my heart! I heard the shattering before I could stop my fall. And there was nothing I could do. I got stepped on, too, but I didn't care at that point. I know that nobody died...but still. My camera was in pieces. And so was my mind.

In fact, the state of my camera is a great metaphor for the state of my being...ha!

I had bailed out of work early that night, withdrew funds from my account that I couldn't afford, drove way too fast down to Denver, fought with Jerry on the phone because he didn't want me to go, threw a temper tantrum when I figured out that the Gothic Theatre is NOT on Colfax, and generally bullied my way through the "getting there" experience. You would think that I could listen to the universe's signals to slow down and just let things happen the way they are supposed to...but no. I had to push things through and make it go like I thought it should be.

Although we did make it in time for the Meet & Greet with the bands, and even got to see the acts warm up...I was truly feeling the cost of all of my actions up to that point.

When I did finally get knocked down in the crowd, I actually felt like I deserved it. Not just for that night. But for all of the nights leading up to that. All the adolescent acting out that I was doing and the lives that I was wreaking havoc on.

I felt like I was finally paying a price with something I held dear.

...and because I felt like I deserved to lose something precious, I didn't take my camera to the shop for almost another three weeks.

Self-flogging. Self-loathing.


...you would think with the emotional price I paid and the pain of repentance, that I would change my ways. But, oh no.

The summer was just beginning.

Thunk

Hmmm.

I don't want to talk about my present today. I think I would like to talk about my summer...you missed out on a lot of action while my fingers were on TerriBerriHiatus.

Let's start at the end of June....oh yes, lets! I think I left off at the day of the Flyleaf Concert...which is the last day that I held the OMG camera in my hands.

I got knocked down - the camera is in pieces. And is still in the shop. End of that story.

The show? Ohhh! Sick Puppies is amazing...took my breath away. I have never enjoyed an opening band more than I did them, and thank goodness I did my homework before the show so that I could fully enjoy the fact that they are true to their music no matter where they are performing.

Kill Hannah was also enjoyable, but not as remarkable as their schwag...their t-shirts and merch are really cute.

(Jessa and I at a Flyleaf/Dropping Daylight show - spring 2006)


Flyleaf??? I really enjoyed seeing Lacey and Pat and Sameer...but...oh, I don't know. Maybe I have seen them too many times. Or maybe it was because Jessa wasn't there. Whatever the reason, they did not live up to the standards set previously...by themselves and their opening acts. I hate to say anything bad about them, only because I am so emotionally attached and I would never want them to know that someone is thinking anything but supportive and admiring thoughts.


I took my neighbor boy, Brock, who is about 6'6...and 18, and headed straight for the military. He was a very enjoyable concert buddy - and a great designated driver, too. I would take him with me again anytime, and I certainly hope I get the chance to. He is a great kid.

I ran into so many people at that show (Maria from 30STM Echelon, and Billy from the Hoobastank concert to name a couple) - I had forgotten that other people get as excited about the concert experience as I do. 'Twas nice to share in the adrenaline and enjoyment with people close to my own age...

(Meeting Billy at Hoobastank (Jan 2007) - I liked his shirt. :))


A few days later, I took my babies to the airport and sent them to New Hampshire to stay a month with my mother. And I left directly from there to go to Chicago...

...to be continued.
:)

Wilco - Denver, CO - 9/1

Wilco 020
Originally uploaded by tielji

Yes! You read that right! I went to a Wilco show with my friend Dan. A sold out show, mind you. Now, I attend a lot of sold out shows, but this one was amazing for two reasons.

#1. People were trying to buy tickets on the street for any price. If it wasn't for the fact that I wanted to see why they would do such a thing, I would have sold mine for future rent money. HA!
#2. I have no idea how this happened, but we started three rows of people back... and ended up in the front row. Front freakin' row. Gawd I love the Fillmore...

I kind of do know how it happened: A little blonde thing in the front row had to go potty, so I crowd wrangled for her (not once, but twice) and how did she show her appreciation? By pulling me up to stand beside her. Yay!!

On the other side of me? (not in the front row) A couple who had been married for 17 years. I heard myself mumble that if my husband would have gone to shows with me, we probably would still be together. That was a sad moment.

Behind me? One huge teddy bear of a man who put me in front of him so I could actually see. I didn't notice his smaller-in-stature boyfriend on the other side of him 'til later!

I should add a third reason to why this show was so amazing...

#3. Holy cats, Wilco is soooo amazing! Six guys making every song a huge jam session. A story...poetry in sound...complete with the thrilling of the heart. These guys are true craftsmen, and I get now the huge following.

...the three encores did so much to embed them into my eternal admiration as well. Four songs each encore...who does that anymore??! Loved it.

And oh, it was so nice to have this break from real life.

Today I am packing. Again. And I told my parents. Check and check.

Ironic divorce statement of the day: (by my wonderful, sweet, soon to be ex husband) So...I guess you won't be moving out until you have the money to do it, huh?

I tried to explain the best I could that, really, it is not reasonable to think that you can come home one day and say "I want a divorce" and the other person not only says "okay!" but then finds a place to live for free and extremely conveniently.

I don't think he understood me. We speak different languages now.

Maybe we always did.

Flying Under the Radar

I am a little confused. I spent this weekend with MyGuy - the whole weekend. And nothing bad happened. What an extraordinary experience!

He did such an excellent job being my running buddy. Friday he made me dinner and watched a movie with me because I got home from work too late to do anything else of fun value. Saturday he threw me up on the bike and we went riding all over the countryside - and even to a little get together of my old crew. And then he brought me home and fed me beer. That was nice. Sunday, Mothers Day, was filled with flowers and gifts and family - probably the best Mothers Day that I have ever celebrated.

I think the biggest reason why I am confused is that I had given up on this relationship being fun or fulfilling, and my heart thought it knew what it wanted. Only - I got a taste of the other that I thought I wanted - and it did not bring me the joy or satisfaction that I imagined it would. And it certainly wouldn't bring me the safety (as boring as that is) that I am blessed with.

Which brings about the question: Why can't I make my spirit calm down and enjoy what I have for a more extended bout? Hmmm.

Going to see Rocco De Luca and the Burden tonight at the Ogden - I am so excited! They will be playing with Keane (whom I don't care about) and a local Denver band will be opening. I am pretty sure it will be the Concert Camera that is flying tonight - the Ogden won't let me have fun there with the OMG Camera. And since it is a weeknight, I will NOT be traveling HWY 85 after midnight. Three speeding tickets in one year would definitely do some damage to my ratings.

Have a great day, all!
;)t

These are a few of my favorite things...

(what it looks like when you are in the way on stage)

I felt Spring in the air today, and it made me want to Spring Clean! No, I didn't actually DO anything of that nature, but I did scrub a few things down. And while I did my scrubbing, I got out some of my old stuff...when did Bush become old stuff? Isn't that sad? And then I played some Korn. Who had to be monitored for volume whenever I heard my kids scampering near...

We are trying to do more family things here in the H home...we have gone out for Sunday dinner three Sundays in a row! The best part is: There have been no Cold Wars or Fire of Hell Battles during our outings. It is a small victory to report back to the marriage counselor.

Yeah...still going to the marriage counselor. She likes me. But I think she likes Jerry more. I can't fault her on her good taste, but I would like to have her in MY corner. Now you can see the kind of reasoning that landed me in marriage counseling to begin with.


Just got me some tix for Rocco de Lucca and the Burden on March 17th. I found them just before Christmas and have been wallering in their music ever since. You must go check 'em out.

Then come the Decemberists! Yeah...check them out, too.

LOL

Q is for Quit

(my friends Ricky and Jeff from i69 opening for Slaughter)


So forgive me already. I am doing some fancy self-medicating...but I am NOT smoking. Nope. I am 39 days clean according to my "QuitGadget". A real long ways away from the success of my former quit - and I don't care. In the end, the only thing that matters is that I am not killing myself with smokes today. I prefer to do it with wine, apparently. :)

One of the best things about a Quit? Waking up every day thinking "I wonder what magical thing is going to happen to me today?".

Today it was an email from someone named Jeremy who saw some of my work - and wants me to do some for him and his production company. I am honored, and yet a little embarrassed. I still get nervous that I will let someone down once they get past my bravado and facade.

But it was magical, nonetheless.

(my friends Ricky and Jeff from i69 opening for Slaughter)


So forgive me already. I am doing some fancy self-medicating...but I am NOT smoking. Nope. I am 39 days clean according to my "QuitGadget". A real long ways away from the success of my former quit - and I don't care. In the end, the only thing that matters is that I am not killing myself with smokes today. I prefer to do it with wine, apparently. :)

One of the best things about a Quit? Waking up every day thinking "I wonder what magical thing is going to happen to me today?".

Today it was an email from someone named Jeremy who saw some of my work - and wants me to do some for him and his production company. I am honored, and yet a little embarrassed. I still get nervous that I will let someone down once they get past my bravado and facade.

But it was magical, nonetheless.

The Terri's New Groove

So...I turned 37 last Friday. It definitely wasn't a graceful maturation on any level - physically, emotionally, or physically. In fact, I had just gotten used to being 36. I was finally learning to embrace myself and all of the changes that middle age has brought me. But there was NO room for 37.

In order to break my fall a bit, my friends and I made some plans. Some good plans. But you know how it is with plans. Yeah - they fell through at the last minute. So being me, I made more plans...it was my birthday, dammit!

My friends, F.D.P., were playing down at the Rio Grande so a coworker and I decided to go down and check it out. One birthday shot down, one margarita started, chips and salsa being munched, a steady stream of people I know coming in the door...oh how exciting!!

And that is where it all falls apart.

Someone slipped something into my drink.

I have spent the last week trying to figure out what all I did, said, and who I may have fallen into/puked on/cried at...my imagination has run wild. I could have talked to my coworker who took me and brought me home to my bewildered husband, but I have been too ashamed.

I do have record of most of the night on camera. Gawd, I love my camera.

Last night, I finally asked my friend to come look through the pics with me and to help me figure out a time line because I just have to know what happened.

Turns out, although I have no memory of any of it, we actually all had a pretty good time. The only really embarrassing thing I did in public was fall face first into the band...and they love me, so they weren't mad. I spent the rest of the night going from table to table, talking to my friends, taking pics, dancing, and then at some point I told Whitney that I was going to be ill - which I was. In private. And she took me home.

I wish I would have known that...I wish people didn't put things in other peoples drinks...I wish that I hadn't spent the last week feeling ashamed for something that somebody else did to ME!

We are having a re-birthday weekend this weekend. 37 may have been dreaded, and it may have started out awful...but it is MY 37, and I intend to make it the very best 37 that ever was.

Hooba-who?

So, one of the fantastically fun things I did in my incommunicado state is go to a Hoobastank concert with a coworker.

(this is Halifax in the pic with me...doesn't it look like he is gonna step on my head?)

Agent Sparks played first - a high energy co-ed band, with such great synergy that we were sure the lead singer and guitarist were either married or in love. I offended the drummer by telling him later that he reminded me of Jared Leto. "Because I am short and have dark hair?", he mumbled. Believe me - I understand. At least his band played AND sang all of their own music and did not even once expect the audience to do their vocals for them.

Next up was Halifax - and oh, you must go check them out. I was so proud of the show they put on...it is very difficult to entertain at the Bluebird Theatre on nights that they have the 21 and younger crowd in the balcony. That is their main demographics, fgs! What they end up with is a balcony of crazed fans and then the older crowd up next to the stage. Hence all of the elbow room during the opening band performances. The lead at one point was bemoaning the fact that he could not crowd surf without the minors on the floor to catch him - which I was quick to interject that of course he could jump! I was there to catch him...and while we both knew that I couldn't, he acted like it could be a very real possibility. Then I spent the rest of their set afraid that he was going to jump and I was going to drop him on his head.

(they stood right here while I forced my stupid little concert cam to finally get a shot...)

We had met up with two girls earlier in the night who were Hoobastank guests. They had the swag and the wristbands to prove it. Whitney and I fell right into the lap of good fortune by being nice to them...the rest of the night was a swirl of meeting band members of all three bands and getting VIP passes to hang. Hoobastank put on an amazing show...they hit every single power note, chord and beat - so enjoyable. So much energy and talent. And of course they played the obligatory "The Reason" to the delight of our two new friends. Unfortunately, one of them had gotten so blasted on white zin (who in the h*ll drinks white zin at a show??!!) that I basically carried her like a mannequin for the remainder of the meet and greets backstage. As soon as we talked to everyone we wanted to, I did a very shameful thing. I left drunkard sitting on a chair and out the door we went. I know, I know...you don't have to say a word.

(Hoobastank lead - how can they possibly be so young?)

We continued our night looking for something to eat - after all kitchens in Denver were safely closed of course! Just when we had finally given up, the bodyguard at the last bar/diner we stopped at offered to run and get us food from 7-11. Not only did we dine on the greatest nachos ever known to man, but they also bought our drinks.

( I am not trashed - I just take bad pics sometimes. Really bad.)

The night was perfect...THAT is what a show night is supposed to look like, 30STM!

Releasing of Fingers...

Oh...wow...I had no idea it had been so long since I blogged. I can't even begin to explain why. It has almost been like a phobia - a blogaversion. Is there such a thing? I would come to the computer, start to sit down, and literally my body would make a left turn and I would exit the office out the other door.

Then I would think later about all of the things I wanted to say...and yet, I could not get the words to come through my fingers. Whatever blockage was there, this morning it seems to be gone.

My photo shoot last weekend was so much fun, and the band reports that they really like them. They also asked if I would be available for future concert dates and some promotional studio shots. I can't begin to tell you how good that makes my little heart feel.

Tonight I am attending a release party for Dave Beegle - and although I have been asked to work, I have no idea what that means. Is that camera work? Is it merch booth work? Is it taking out the trash after everyone has left?

You know what? I don't care. I am just so honored to be invited. I might want to tell them, though, that I don't do windows.

Tomorrow is my daughters 14th birthday. Has it really been 14 years since my gorgeous, taller-than-me, smarter-than-I-ever-hoped-to-be, most-creative-child-on-the-face-of-the-planet was born? Feels like it was yesterday...

She worked a catering with me last night. Like all mothers, I worried about her work ethic and her ability to be a team player, and her ability to put her heart and soul into everything she does even if it is something not so enjoyable. I will never worry about that again. She worked just as hard as I did and fit in with my crew like she had always been part of us. Amazing. I am so very proud of her.

The only moment that gave me pause? When the DJ came out and she knew every word to that stupid SexyBack song. That's okay...she was a little horrified when I knew where the double-up-UH-UH in Baby Got Back came in. We did the Electric Slide together in the kitchen. I have a feeling her college graduation party will be a scene to end all scenes.


I am hoping that today is wonderful for all of you...it is such a crazy time of year, and it seems to go so fast. Please enjoy the Christmas Time Warp - it will be the doldrums of January before we know it.
;)t

Let the Hollydaze begin!

I took my camera on a date this weekend.

Yeah, we walked around some parks together, we talked to other human/camera couples going by, and we gazed into the lakes and watched the birds...all the while being very in tune with each other.

We even went shopping for more toys for the camera - and if I stop dropping it, I bet those toys will fit just right! I love my camera. Too much. And I am fine with that.

I spent the rest of the weekend working on the 'puter - and OH that was wonderful. I am sure it was startling to some of you though, to have your emails answered and returned almost before you hit send. I was most efficient.

One of the cool things that happened this weekend: A local band has asked me to come shoot their show next weekend. Now, I have done this before obviously, but always for me alone. I am feeling pressure about doing it for someone else. What if they don't like my style? What if I forget my battery? What if I drop the camera? What if I get drunk and crawl on stage WITH them? And those are just my irrational worries. I can't even begin to list the worries that make sense...

I am thinking that this Christmas season we are going to practice forgiveness where it is not justified. We are going to extend love where love is not deserved (I use that term too loosely in this sentence, I know). And let it begin with me - like this : Jerry hung Christmas Lights today - the H Home will look pretty snazzy this year. In response, I am gonna wear some some new items tonight that will help speed along the trimming of MY tree.

And the camera will just have to hang on the doorknob in its case for THIS date.


;)t

Beegle Noise

(click to enlarge - please)

Last weekend Niel and I got to go see an amazing man and his amazing men play an amazing show. Remember the guy who owns the production company that is going to let me organize his warehouse and perhaps get all of his MySpace pages sorted out? Yeah. His brother is Dave Beegle, one of the most talented guitarists in the world. I feel pretty silly because I hadn't heard much about him until this new phase in my employment happened. But you can bet that I will know all about him pretty soon, 'cause that's just how I roll. Obsessively. (HA! - I wish I was kidding...this dog with a bone thing is exhausting!)

The only bad part of the show? The one and a half bottles of REALLY good wine that I drank with my boss. I was up on a chair shooting pics at one time, and the only way I know that for myself is from the pics of the drummer - poor guy. He must have been frightened by me. Then, I decided to sit on the floor. As evidenced by all of the shots being angled up. At least there is a record of events...

Wednesday is a new 30 Seconds to Mars show...and I am still trying to figure out if I am going to try to take THE camera, or just settle for the concert cam. If I remember correctly, I think I had a hard time getting even the little one into the Filmore last time they were here. I think they should publish a list on the web: which bands are so sissy that they confiscate your camera, and which ones are confident enough in their photogenicness to allow me to experience it. Yeah...a list.

Took my Jeremy to the dentist today, and oh! My poor little man. He has to have a tooth extracted on Wednesday - apparently it is an extra. How in the world do you get extra teeth? I am playing it cool...telling him that he must be destined to grow very big if his body decided to grow extra teeth for all the chewing of food he will have to do. He giggles. That's good - because I sure am cringing on the inside for him - tooth extraction?! ugh.



Things seem to be happening so fast and furious...my little mind doesn't seem to be able to keep up, what with being chemically deprived and all. But I am still enjoying myself for the most part.

Anyone have extra Alice in Chains tix for the 20th?
;)t

POTUS is IN the House - (no pictures please)

You are NOT going to believe what I got to do today. I got to see the President of the United States of America.

That's right - I was rubbing elbows with Secret Service. I was selling hot coffee and bottled water and fruit to Members of Congress. I was fetching Mountain Dew for PAC members, and popping popcorn for Pollsters and National News Crews.

I enjoyed watching all of our local Police Force and Fire Fighters and Paramedics act like they were somehow granted Secret Service Status because they were in charge of herding the locals around. I wanted to remind them that after the President left they would have to deal with all of the locals they had ticked off while they played bigshots for a few hours.

I loved watching CBS setting up their site to broadcast from, the newscasters looking around in amazement at the primitiveness of their current location. Okay. I didn't love that. I was embarrased.

Although I am not proud of Dubya - in fact, I am rather ashamed that I ever trusted him with my vote, it was amazing to see the sociological experiment of a political rally. I had goosebumps and a lump in my throat when his helicopter landed...and the hair on my arms stood on end when he walked into the arena. The whole event of his arrival was so well timed and choreographed...very moving. I wonder how I would have felt if he was someone I still respected?

Did I get pictures, you ask? Well. Funny story. I HAD the camera...got it through security just fine, didn't drop it even once, and located a secure and lockable cabinet to keep it in while we worked. When the time came to take pictures of the crowd gathering and the local politicians doing their stumping, I was able to find the very best spot in the facility. Cool, huh?

Yeah. If I had remembered to get the battery off the charger and place it in the camera before I left the house, THAT would have been very cool.

Oh well. Next time.
;)

Tricksy Treats, Eggings, Leggings, and Musicians

...So this is what it looks like to go Trick or Treating with the big kids. HA!


Had so much fun that night. I took the boys around the neighborhood and let them revel in our fellow blockster's attention, and grab at all that candy that I hide every year as SOON as we walk back in the door.

But I am not gonna lie - I was secretly glad that it was below freezing that night, because I desperately wanted to get on the road to Fort Collins, and "real cold" meant the boys would want to go home sooner. Neil and I had tix to see Motorhome, Shanti Groove and White Water Ramble PLUS, we had the naughtiest costumes I have ever dared to try on much less wear in public AND the show started at 8:00.

I got dressed, did my makeup, had Jer check me out for good measure, called Niel to let her know I was on my way - and made sure I had plenty of gas for the occasion. The camera plus tripod was tucked in the back for safe keeping.

What I didn't have was a charged up cell phone, so I decided to charge it in the car. One hard braking at a changing light and my phone went shooting off the seat onto the floorboard. Being resourceful, I hauled it back up by the cord, slid it into my lap, and prepared to call home to report my excellent travel skills as I was several minutes ahead of expected arrival.

Only - the antenna of the phone had somehow speared through a few of the holes in my fishnet stockings. I couldn't get the phone off of my lap. Finding myself unable to drive while I unsuccesfully tried to free my phone, I pulled into a parking lot of a large electronics facility. I unscrewed the antenna, twirled it around to loosen it up (that tightened the knots, by the way),tried to slide the knots OVER the antenna,
and fussed and fidgeted my way into a general hissy fit.

That is when security pulled in behind me. No - he didn't help me. No - he didn't laugh at me. Just before he got out of his car I PULLED the antenna THROUGH my stockings, ripping the threads and leaving a nice hole right on the front of my leg.
Crying a little and trying to smile, I waved at him and drove on my way.

Try telling your friends you are late for a party because you got your phone stuck in your fishnet stockings. There is something unbelievable about that. Oh well.

Downtown Fort Collins is a hoot - hippies, college students, yuppies, guppies and bums all in one little microcosm of the universe. Strangely, hoodlums are also attracted to downtown...and one egged me as his car sped by. I know he was aiming for my car, but I walked right into it. Fortunately for me, it bounced off my biker jacket and splatted on the street. That was pretty cool. Cool and random. Whatever.

The concert was GREAT! Motorhome was a pretty crazy, yet enjoyable jam band. Shanti Groove was exceptionally entertaining that night - and of course WhiteWater Ramble made every single soul in the place dance like idiots. Yes. Even me.

The only uncool part? Waiting in line for 20 minutes a pop just to get a drink. I drank beer so that I could stay relatively sober and not blow my quit (which I haven't yet - going on 13 days), but those silly bartenders would serve every guy around me and ignore Niel and I just because we were girls and potentially lower tippers than the men. (OBviously, they didn't know how very well we tip. And yet that night, I became a very low tipper.) Some slimeball snaked his way in beside me JUST as one of the wenches was coming to get my drink order - and so I started making a scene about how "HEY! This guy is CUTTING! CUTTTTTING!!!" I sounded like I was two years old.

I am ashamed of that moment. And noone really cared about that guy cutting except for me. Ugh.

But - I did not try to fight him OR knock him down. I am making progress.



(that is my friend and Niel's Man Howie standing on his bass while playing - he amazes me...)

Smashing Pumpkins and Cameras

Happy Halloween, all.

Not crazy about this holiday, but my kids are, so...I try to be as cheerful about it as possible.

It takes an extra effort to be cheerful these days, too. I am on day 10 of not smoking. It hasn't been horrible at all. But my mood has definitely suffered. I know it will get better once my brain and my body start getting used to the whole thing.

Someone stole my baby's pumpkin over night and smashed it at the end of our driveway. Right now I am waiting for him to get up so I can break the news gently...he is going to cry, and I hate that. Who would do that to a five year old? Poor little guy. Jerry is giving him his...but you and I both know it won't be the same.

The camera: totally fixed. I took it into the camera store...they confirmed the devastation, and sympathized with me. Then - they gave me a whole new lens.

I felt like I had won the lotto. But that camera is going to be the death of me! A very good lesson in why we are not supposed to love material things as much as I love THAT thing.

Have a great day, all!

So Far Away...

Yeah, I know. My blogging ain't what it used to be.

Truly it isn't a lack of things to say - I have just been actually doing other things! Hard to imagine me doing other things, huh?

About the template - omg you have to help me find one that I like. I tweaked and screwed and messed around with everything that BlogSpot has - I hate them all. I want something new. Original. TerriBerriStyle. Help me! ;)

Our anniversary was spectacular. AMAzing even. For all that J put me through during the week, he made up for it fifty times over with the day I got to spend with him. We rode the bike to a neighboring town and went to an indie music producer's new warehouse - a grand opening with a keg of 90 Schilling and live music! Does life get any better? Yes, apparently it does. We then went to hear Drug Under do a set - remember that name. They are going to be huge. (Have I been wrong yet?!) The best part was that J had a good time. He interacted with everyone, enjoyed the music, let me drink myself silly with no derisive looks, bundled me back on the bike and brought me back to my children. Who had the house "clean" and the leaves in the yard "picked up". And had made us the most beautiful cards...the kind you NEVER throw away. No matter what.

It was a magical day, like none that I have ever experienced before.

I spent the rest of my free time working with my camera - so much to see, so little time. I have some great shots of the bands - but yeah. I cannot upload them. The batteries went dead. I was not expecting that at all. I thought my camera had committed suicide.

And guess what? I got all of that horrible paperwork finished. My shoulders have no idea what to do with themselves now that they are not weighed down with impossible tasks.

As I speak, I cannot express to you how happy I am on this Monday night. I will not be unreasonable and expect things to be this good forever, but I will enjoy the way it feels right now.

*sidenote: The warehouse owner and music producer is going to let me work for free in his shop - in exchange for CD's and entrance to shows - can you believe my luck?!

Little Miss Muffet...

Look what was sitting by my desk when I got to the office today...ugh!

*not the lens cap. That is just for huuuge spidey reference.


And then when I got home, my boys had a present for me.



I am feeling a bit creepy-crawly...