How you like them apples?

My biggest struggle in trying to live my life as a self-actualized human being/Wonder Woman is knowing what to do with those who don't like me.

Honestly, in 2007 I was pretty sure I had this licked. "I am not everyone's cuppa tea - I get that. And that is okay", I would say. And I would truly be fine with it.

But now - not so much. I have a totally new world of people to interact with, and a totally new set of personalities to adapt to. I walk in on a future relative saying something mean about me and I shrink. I shrivel! I run away. The neighbor is snotty and disdainful one day, but friendly and engaging the next? I spend hours in turmoil trying to figure out how to increase the friendly, engaging minutes while erasing whatever I did to cause the snotty, disdainful ones. I have wasted so much time dissecting interactions between people in my past, my present and my future, all to determine how to make things better. How to make things right for these people who don't seem to like me.

I need to write it on my heart: I am not everyone's cuppa tea. I am me. And I am just fine! I don't like everyone and not everyone has to like me. That is okay.

I hereby resolve to be myself and pretend that I haven't heard or seen anything from anyone that would indicate that they think I am anything less than wonderful. And I will be much happier, I am sure. And if they are much happier as a result, that will just be bonus.

Over the Hills

I am getting old. And not metaphorically. I am aging at an exponential rate that is startling and shaming to me.

I eat so well. I don't drink a whole lot anymore. I use sunscreen and I get 8-9 hours of sleep every single night. I am blessed with very little stress and I have great genes. So WHY?

I am hoping that it is just a perception thing...like body dysmorphic disorder. Or maybe a mirror distortion.

I am not ready to be old. I didn't get being young done yet.

90.

I am doing a 90 day project. Not for business purposes, or to "level up" like so many of my friends are doing these days. I just really like the idea that you can select a certain length of time, set an intention, and grow something new in your life! It has the same appeal to me as the cleansing aspect of abstaining from something for the Lenten season. I am committing to doing a few things health related and a couple of things creativity related for 90 days starting today. ( I don't know why I am being vague - why can't I just tell you what things I will be doing??! Criminy. Seriously, not that big of a deal. Still - not telling.)

 Have any of you done something similar to a 90 Day Challenge/Project? What were your results?

Sewage and Sage Advice

My ex-husband: You had better get a GOOD F******N LAWYER!

My Mom: Well, at least he specified what kind of lawyer to get.

Me: MOM!

My Mom: Ohhh...I bet that kind is more expensive than the other kinds.

Me: Ugh. Mom, I am worried. I feel like I am starting WWIII and my kids are going to suffer greatly because of it. 

My Mom: War is good! Clears the air and good for the economy. 

Me: *speechless*


I love that lady. 

Class Project

Class Project, a photo by Gypsy Scribe on Flickr.

I am converting to Catholicism. For the reals. I am actually IN the process as we speak.

In fact, I am at the part of the process that is the most intense: Lent/Easter and my first Eucharist.

For the past 7 months D and I have been attending class on what it means to become a Catholic, and I have to say it has been surprisingly enjoyable! I love my classmates, and the education is very interesting. One would think that D would be bored as he is what they call a "Cradle Catholic" (born in to the faith), but honestly, I think he has learned just as much as I have about his church.

I am surprised at myself. I did not see conversion to ANYTHING in my future. My faith has been complete since I was a child - not always practiced, but complete nonetheless.

I guess this is what happens when contemplating how to change "my future" in to "our future".

Tire-d of the Same Old Thing

Tire-d of the Same Old Thing, a photo by Gypsy Scribe on Flickr.

Happy New Year!

It has happened again, yes? This annual rolling around of a brand new start.

Did you take advantage of it? Did you need to take advantage of it?

I have been observing lately. I have been particularly drawn to those people who always have something in "the works". Whether it is art, a family activity, a social event, or personal improvement - I am surrounded by people who pack more in a day than I can fit in to a week.

I want to be like them.

I know that some of the people I admire are plagued with demons that I am not equipped to deal with (bipolar, scars from abuse, etc) and others have vices that carry them farther and longer than the average human ... and I don't want to have THAT part of their productive/artistic nature.

Do they always have to go hand-in-hand, though?

On a serious note, I will be sharing my New Years/New Start resolutions with you now:

In the year of 2014, I hereby resolve to buy more art. I also resolve to make some of my own.
I resolve to purchase or borrow more books - and read them sober (that makes a difference, you know). I also will write some words of my own.
I resolve to be recognize and act on my own extraordinariness. I resolve to honor yours.

Happy New Year/New Start to you. Much love!