Mercy Fall...

Oh, man.

I mean - Oh, MY man.

'Twas the strangest thing...MyGuy has been bugging me for the past 18 months to go see my doctor and tell him about all of the changes I have made in my life, and to maybe find out why I have been so erratic and (yes) a little out of control. Obviously, I took that very personally - and not very graciously, either. He went as far as to tape a questionnaire he found in the newspaper on my computer monitor. The large print promised it would help a person know if there was a possibility that they needed to be treated for bipolarism.

Now, everyone I know that has taken the little quiz has scored in the affirmative to requiring the medication being peddled. Needless to say, I was not only mad - I was hurt. I told him it was him making me crazy by drowning me in a life of monotony. I told him he was dying a slow death and killing me with him!

MyGuy apparently took the quiz as well and did not score well on the mental health side.

I just found out a couple of weeks ago that he went to his doctor soon after that - and came home with some medication.

Today he is a changed man - and I mean that in every sense of the word. Was he depressed? Unbelievably so. Did I make that easier with my vagrant lifestyle? No. I am sorry, MyGuy...

Although he will not be a longtermpillpopper, I am so happy that he is taking care of himself. I know that this treatment is just to give him a leg up and I am grateful that he will have that chance. He is happy, attentive, hopeful, balanced, and aware. He is even making future plans again - plans for fun and not failure. The way he is interacting with our children is magical and everything I wanted in a co-parent. The way he is treating me is...amazing. And wonderful. And healing, even.

And oh! The TV? Yeah...it is off. For hours at a time. Public Service will be very confused when they review our account.


Slight Clutter said...

"The way he is treating me is...amazing. And wonderful. And healing, even."

That's wonderful. I certainly hope the healing continues for you both.

Marla said...

Terri that's wonderful! Good for him for taking that first step.

Niel said...

I'm so happy for your family Ter...I'm really grateful that J has found the balance that he needed. Sometimes we just need that little chemical whack to set us right again! I do hope that you can be more forgiving of yourself for your reactions to his previous moods/behavior. Just because it's caused by depression doesn't mean that you have to tolerate angry words or unsupportive actions; it just means that you can now respond from a place of understanding rather than one of a feeling of personal attack. I love you Mama T, and I'm really happy that this has all begun to figure itself out in your life...N

Rebecca said...

How wonderful that your guy has taken the initiative to get some help. Meds can be a wonderful, fabulous thing, indeed...hahaha.
Take full advantage of his good mood!

terri said...

Katya: Thank you so much! It is amazing how much healing needs to happen after 21 years of battle...16 years of it being tied together by vows. It really has been nice, these last few weeks of peace and joy...

Marla: I know! So unlike him...can't figure out why he did it - but so glad he did!

MyNiel: Don't worry - I am only taking responsibility for the damaging things I have brought to the table. Thank you for your unwavering love and support...for both of us! Love you much...

Becca: That's what I hear - perhaps I will try...no, I won't. LOL

The good mood is being enjoyed indeed - and he will be given extra credit points for effort and creativity!