Everyone Else Is Doing It

101 random things about me...

1. I love my name. In lower case.
2. I am an only child.
3. But I have 2 step-brothers, one half-brother, and three adopted siblings.
4. My parents divorced when I was 15.
5. They tried to divorce once when I was 13...but it didn’t work.
6. My father is a preacher – Nondenominational Charismatic.
7. My mother is not any organized religion.
8. But she believes in a Supreme Deity.
9. I haven’t been to church in about 6 months.
10. But we pray before every meal.
11. My favorite color is purple – or red. Also depends on the day.
12. I only wear black, white, red or brown.
13. I smoke. Involuntarily.
14. I am an insomniac.
15. I prefer Letterman over Leno.
16. I hate chores and paying bills.
17. I drink too much wine every other week.
18. I used to pick up hitch-hikers.
19. I am a compulsive photographer. Not a good one, just compulsive.
20. I have been pregnant 6 times.
21. I have had 4 babies.
22. I never wanted children.
23. But I am so proud of the ones I have.
24. I don’t like food, but I eat plenty.
25. I could eat the same thing for every meal every day for the rest of my life.
26. I forget to drink water for days on end.
27. I drink way too much coffee.
28. I am not a morning person but I love the sunrise.
29. Unless I am riding in a car – it makes me nauseous.
30. When I was 14 I went to Sweden as a teen missionary.
31. When I was 19 I learned how to read Tarot Cards and chart astrology.
32. I am a bookworm.
33. I never remember what I have read or who it was by.
34. I get confused sometimes about whether something really happened to somebody I know, or if I just read about it somewhere.
35. I hate the TV.
36. But I love Rescue Me on FX.
37. And Grey’s Anatomy.
38. I cry when they vote people off of reality survival shows.
39. I don’t really cry – I am more of a sobber.
40. I hated the Passion of the Christ.
41. I felt like I had viewed the murder of a man for 1 ½ hours – I felt dirty.
42. I did not feel grateful that God gave us His only son so that we could have life everlasting – I was really p*ssed off that He made the rules so that someone had to die. I never asked for anyone to be murdered for me.
43. I felt ashamed that I couldn’t be grateful and say thank you.
44. I still can’t.
45. I refuse to pay more than $35 for a concert ticket.
46. I buy a new CD every single time I go to Target.
47. I have a 4.0 in college.
48. But I can’t finish my degree because I keep dropping my Algebra course so I don’t ruin my GPA.
49. I am a passionate supporter of new bands – until they make it.
50. I have attachment disorder.
51. So does my mother.
52. We are attached to each other, though.
53. I dye my hair ...and pull out the gray ones when I can see them in my rear view mirror.
54. I met my husband when I was 16.
55. We broke up 38 times before we got married.
56. He married me because I told him he had to or move out of my apartment.
57. We have been married for 16 years.
58. I have never physically cheated on him since saying our vows.
59. We have attempted to sort things out in marriage counseling two times, each time lasting 6 months.
60. Both times we came out thinking that our counselor was crazier than we were.
61. We are going to try it again.
62. I have had West Nile Virus.
63. I am 36.
64. I forget that I am 36 until I see myself in the mirror.
65. I am steeped in End Time Theory.
66. I was taught that the world would end in 1988, 1991 & 1995.
67. I never chose a career for the future because I thought there was no point in it.
68. Now I refuse to think about the end of the world – and I unreasonably plan to be everything when I grow up.
69. I am a dabbler in many things, professional at nothing.
70. I am all or nothing with everything I take on.
71. I would rather clean the toilets than do dishes or laundry.
72. I hate baby showers and birthday parties.
73. Unless they are at a pub.
74. I am a Republican.
75. And a Patriot.
76. I am ashamed that I hate the president I voted for.
77. I am a carrier for strep throat.
78. I am married exactly the same amount of years my parents were when they divorced.
79. I traded my sports car in for a mini-van, and my mini-van in for a Pontiac Vibe.
80. I have 14,000 miles on the Vibe – I have had it for 2 ½ years.
81. I hate grocery shopping – you buy the food and then people eat it all up. Nothing to show for your money!
82. I love text messaging and e-mail.
83. I refuse to use short hand while texting.
84. I hate talking on the phone.
85. I would love to have been Greek.
86. Before the Romans took over.
87. I have one pet – the Skeeter Cat.
88. I found her in a mud puddle when she was approximately 4 weeks old.
89. I let her drink out of the bathroom faucet.
90. I don’t enjoy play dates.
91. Unless it is at a pub.
92. I have never done any illegal drugs.
93. Except one time I smoked some pot, but then I got really paranoid and made my friends take me to the ER because I was OD’ing.
94. They gave me a sandwich and sent me home.
95. I have many piercings, but no tattoos.
96. But it is on my list of things to do before I die.
97. I was a cheerleader through junior high and high school.
98. I dated my husband because he had a 65 Mustang. We still have it.
99. I love to sleep on the couch.
100. I am an internet junkie.
101. This year I went crazy – and I haven’t come back completely right yet.

Little Miss Muffet...

Look what was sitting by my desk when I got to the office today...ugh!

*not the lens cap. That is just for huuuge spidey reference.


And then when I got home, my boys had a present for me.



I am feeling a bit creepy-crawly...

Cold...but I'm Still Here...

Ah...if you have not already done so based on my extensive little-known musician reccommendations, you must go check out Evans Blue - an amazing group from Canada, and I love them so.

(this is two of those fantastic Evans Blue Boys and I at the 12th Planet)

And also, today when I was checking out the Two-for-Tuesday sale at Sony.com, there was an exclusive interview with my beloved Dropping Daylight. Do you know what this means?! They made it...omg, they made it. And although I am so very proud, I know I will never be able to see them play at dive bars or be openers that rock the house from here on out. They will be expensive headliners. I want you to remember that I loved them first. FIRST, d*mmit. ;)

I went to see my friend Joanne in Denver this weekend. (She is one of the girls I met when I was on the Quitnet 24/7.)

ANYway. I went to visit Jo this weekend, and to take pictures of the magnificent architecture Downtown Denver. While we were there, we stopped by the RockBottom Brewery to have some a couple of drinks, and to visit my friend Kendall. (Kendall - a child I had hired as a hostess when she was 15, and is now a manager at the RockBottom.) I am so very proud of MissKen, and was very happy to introduce her to Joanne and her sister Lori, except my introduction came out like this:

Me: Kendall, this is my dear friend Joanne and her sister...um...ummmm...oh cr*p!...ummm...Liz? Trish? Why can't I...?

Joanne: Lori. My sister's name is Lori.

Now I must remind you, I have spent tons of time hanging out with Lori. I adore her. Why couldn't I remember her name? Do I have Alzheimers? Ugh.

The only possibility (other than Alzheimers) that I can assuage my social guilt with is that perhaps I was mixing too many worlds together. Old School Kenny's, Old School Qnet, and Downtown Denver with Joanne. Those time periods span aproximately 10 years. Maybe my poor little brain just gave up.

Also, today I found out that I forgot to pay the MilkMan and the Trash Company.

Coincidence or trend? You be the judge.

My Foot - Too Big To Swallow...

So...it's the weekend. I am literally sighing big exhales of relief. Why do some weeks take a month to get through?!

I took my handsome husband to retrieve his motorcycle from the shop yesterday, and while we were there he wanted to show me the saddle bags he had ordered - and spent a fortune on. Ohmygawd...I felt so bad. They are hard and shiny and give every appearance of belonging on a tourist cycle! Old man saddle bags, even. And of course, my mouth opened before my brain kicked in to censor, and I told him exactly what I thought.

I am no longer allowed as a passenger.

It is going to take alot of steak and potatoes and random tricks of the trade (yeah, that trade. Not that I ever was in that trade...I just read alot.) to get my behind back on the black beast.

At least I have goals...
;)

Can You Take Me Higher?

We are once more at the cyclical portion of myself that moves forward too fast, and forgets to move my feet. I am flat on my face emotionally tonight...

Time again to be stuck in my little glass coffin, face pressed awkwardly against the surface, features smeared, watching the rest of the world whirl by.

I gotta figure this sh*t out.

This is the worst part of being Terri.

Rocky Mountain High...

(if you click on this, you can see the moose just hanging out on the golf course. Silly moose. There are golfers not 50 feet away and still they are staying on the green. Someone call fore!)

I finally got a little road trip, anyway. It made me miss my mom.
She used to live up in Woodland Park, CO, and going to visit her in the fall was a like visual candy. The colors, the vistas, the lighting - all perfect.

The boys and I drove up the canyon to Estes Park today and honestly, we had the best time. They had gotten up early and cleaned their room, eaten their breakfast and did not bicker one time. What was my reward for them? Sticking them in a car and making them go up where the temperature was freezing, the wind was howling, and made them hike in and out of the woods. We stopped at every sunny place along the river, and anywhere the trees appeared to be changing color. It was awesome!

Anyway, I find myself partial to the shots that I think will make my mom homesick...

I think that is called emotional manipulation. Ugh.

It's so different to drive somewhere just to enjoy the scene. I forgot there was such intense beauty just up the road.

I also forgot to send out the memo to the other drivers on the road that I was a tourist today...I wanted to shout to them to slow down and enjoy themselves! Where could they have possibly needed to get to at such an unhappy clip?! They wanted to shout at me to hurry up or get out of the way. In fact, I think they DID shout that...I have a hard time reading lips in the rear view mirror, but I am a strong believer in body language speaking louder than words. Especially The Finger type of body language.

Anyway, I can't think of a better way to have spent my Sunday. It could only have been topped if a live band would have been in the car with me...


One more thing...Here is a bench for Katya's collection. It was 60 feet away from the moose on the golf course, but I decided it was worth putting my life in danger to get it! ;)

Do You Know Where You're Going?

I am all over the place today.

I want to rearrange the house, relandscape the yard (or at least right the things that are wrong with it presently), get some friends together, hide out in my office, pay bills, go shopping, watch a movie, listen to a CD, read a book/million blogs, talk to my mother, get a pedi/mani, go hiking in Rocky Mountain National Park with my camera, take a nap, drink keoki coffee, sit on the deck with MyGuy and talk about nothing important, play football in the park with my boys...but you know what?

One of the only things that I will actually accomplish in real life is a nap.

You Are an Obsession - You're My Obsession...

So...about this new camera...and all of its wonderfulness: OMG. I can't put it down! I think about it at work. I buy it new toys. I create new pages for it to show off on. I can't get to bed before 2 in the morning because I am reading and reading and practicing and reading some more about all of it's magic.

The camera has to go...

...on a road trip.
;)

Mercy Fall...

Oh, man.

I mean - Oh, MY man.

'Twas the strangest thing...MyGuy has been bugging me for the past 18 months to go see my doctor and tell him about all of the changes I have made in my life, and to maybe find out why I have been so erratic and (yes) a little out of control. Obviously, I took that very personally - and not very graciously, either. He went as far as to tape a questionnaire he found in the newspaper on my computer monitor. The large print promised it would help a person know if there was a possibility that they needed to be treated for bipolarism.

Now, everyone I know that has taken the little quiz has scored in the affirmative to requiring the medication being peddled. Needless to say, I was not only mad - I was hurt. I told him it was him making me crazy by drowning me in a life of monotony. I told him he was dying a slow death and killing me with him!

MyGuy apparently took the quiz as well and did not score well on the mental health side.

I just found out a couple of weeks ago that he went to his doctor soon after that - and came home with some medication.

Today he is a changed man - and I mean that in every sense of the word. Was he depressed? Unbelievably so. Did I make that easier with my vagrant lifestyle? No. I am sorry, MyGuy...

Although he will not be a longtermpillpopper, I am so happy that he is taking care of himself. I know that this treatment is just to give him a leg up and I am grateful that he will have that chance. He is happy, attentive, hopeful, balanced, and aware. He is even making future plans again - plans for fun and not failure. The way he is interacting with our children is magical and everything I wanted in a co-parent. The way he is treating me is...amazing. And wonderful. And healing, even.

And oh! The TV? Yeah...it is off. For hours at a time. Public Service will be very confused when they review our account.

I Remember Everything...

I want to say something beautiful and honoring on this 5th anniversary of 9-11.

But the words that come through my fingers will never be able to express the emotions I feel regarding the day that America was attacked by pure evil and hatred.

So, I will send my thoughts and prayers to those of you who lost family members and personal friends.

And I will be proud to be an American.

A New Sensation (Right Now!)...

I bought myself a present yesterday. One that I really love. I bought Adobe PhotoShop even though I have at least 7 other photo editing programs. Apparently not 7 other good ones.

I am practicing with watermarks tonight, and enjoying all of the bells and whistles. I haven't gotten up the nerve to alter very many of my photos - I am always afraid I won't be able to get my original back. I know, it's irrational - whatever.

The birthday parties this weekend were a TRIP! Remember the one where I was gonna size up the momma and throw down if need be? Yeah...no. She is a big'un. Not only that, but it took me a little while to realize why all 75 of her family members were wearing blue. It took me even longer to realize that Jory and Owen were the only children not related there.

The birthday child belongs to a family that runs with the Norteno's (please insert squiggly) - who coincidentally just murdered someone from their rival gang, the Sureno's (again with the squiggly). The only way I know about this is from the newspaper, so it was fascinating AND nervewracking to overhear tidbits from various family members.

Owen's mother flaked out first by claiming that Owen had a sore throat - she actually threw the word Strep out there for consideration. I left fairly soon after that, waving with my broad, brave smile plastered onto my pale face until they could no longer see me.

...and came home a little less sure of my abilities to "handle" Birthday Boy's Mommy. *sigh*

When The World Falls Away

(I was playing with my settings, trying to get the water to look more solid. It deprived the rocks and greenery of sharp lines (see blurry), but I love the varied shades of green and brown so much that I am KEEPing it.

...I want to sit right here on a rock for the rest of my life.

Of course, I don't want the seasons to change or for me to get hungry.

There are lots of things wrong with getting to do WHATEVER it is that I want for the rest of my life.

But it doesn't make me stop wanting the good things to keep going on and on and on...

Bring 'Em Back Alive...

Dizmas at the Ogden Theatre - Denver

Friday! Sweet Friday...how is it possible to experience an extremely long four day week?!

I intend to pack so much into this weekend that my head will literally spin off. There is a music festival in Estes Park, Rightfully Accused (who I met at Seether in Feb.) is playing at Eck's Saloon in Denver in the Battle of the Bands, and AudioSlave's new album came out 9-5.

Oh - and then there is the birthday parties. One for a sweet little kindergartner, and the other for a child that likes to punch and kick my youngest on the bus every day. The latter is one that I will accompany him on and size up the mother.

I think that I could take her. Happy Birthday, darling!

Why Can't I Be You?

Tonight I have to do dishes and laundry. I just know deep down inside that I was meant for SO much more. I was supposed to be a rock star. I am sure of it.

And you know what else? Tonight I found out that the Boy that promised to pine after me...adore me...love me forever although I wasn't willing to change a thing for him (like being married) and could never reciprocate in feelings has moved on and found a girl he can actually have a relationship with. WTF??!!

(...this is not a photo of him...this is my friend Jeff.)

I just don't understand. ;)

Ramble On, White Girl...

First off, I would like to suggest to you all a terrific wine to try - Montoya Vineyard, Cabernet, Proprietor's Collection, 2003 - it is heavenly. I am in my office with a glass of it right now.

Next-Blogging I am not doing, though. *whew*

You all know that I am huge on Nine Inch Nails, Audioslave, Breaking Benjamin,Tool, GhostMachine, 30 Seconds to Mars and Seether et al. So it was a large yet pleasant surprise to me when I started attending Ramble shows...particularly WhiteWater Ramble shows. Niel is the one to blame for this - she is the lovely girlfriend of Howard (middle), the upright bass player. Magnificent is he on his instrument, and wonderful is the whole band together. I dance myself silly at their shows.

A couple of weekends ago I had the opportunity to attend West Fest with Niel and Howie to see Nickel Creek. This group was so enjoyable - fantastic guitar and rhythm accented pleasantly by a girl with a voice akin to DiDo...or Loreena Mckinnet.

Because it was an outdoor show, I brought THE camera, thinking I could get some good shots of the mountains at sunset in Fort Collins, and of course Nickel Creek. The camera was a hit with the other photographers, and it was neat to have random people stop to examine it and ask questions about all of its amazingness. However, as I prepared to take only my third or fourth pic, a boy in a yellow jacket appeared in front of me - his face serious, his mouth saying NOTHING I could understand. I had handed my cam to Howie (because he is taller) so that he might get a better shot at the stage than I could expect at my short height. That silly yellow jacketed boy was pointing and mumbling something about "...or I will have to confiscate your camera". I smiled obligatorily - what a jokester - until I realized that he was for REAL. The boy was apparently responsible for policing all camera use in the area and was telling us to put it away or he would take my beautiful new toy! Whaaa?! I, of course, put it away for the rest of the show, but I want you to see the pic I DID get (with my little P.O.S. concertcamera). What do you see? Video cameras, phone cameras, digital cameras all around. Do you think he visited any of them? Nope. Not a single shooter - only me. I think it's because (or I flatter myself by thinking that) I looked like paparazzi.
I will have you know that I told him at the end of the show that he hurt my feelings. He tried to explain that he was only doing his job, and that he didn't see anyone else and that he was sorry - and I refused to forgive him. I simply said he obviously WASN'T doing his job if the only person he saw was poor little ole me. And I walked away. Very dramatically. Take THAT, camerastealingyellowjacketboy. HA!

Quickly, I want to encourage you to go see another Jam/Ramble band that I had the opportunity to visit last weekend...Split Lip Rayfield is one of those tremendous talents that will come to an end long before they are ready. One of the members(front man & guitarist Kirk Rundstrom, far left) was diagnosed with terminal lymphoma and has only 1-4 months to live. They are making their last rounds through America with all ticket sales going to his medical fund. I am honored that I was able to be in attendance during their last CO show...

Ramble On, Kirk Rundstrom. I will be one of the ones you see dancing my *ss off to the bass and mandolin...with my camera 'round my neck.

I'm a Little Tea Pot...

Note to self:

Self, if you want to feel inferior, you must lock yourself in your office with a bottle of wine and hit "next blog" about 452 times. And then you should feel ashamed of yourself for the amount of time you wasted doing that. Inferiority and shame - two equally powerful emotions. Let's do that again real soon.

Karma and Effect

my children and my little sister at Lost River, NH. They all look so deceptively harmless and sweet. Whatever.

I have too much to say, I think. My brain is a little whirl-y this morning. Could one whole pot of coffee be too much coffee?

The children:
My oldest wants me to start treating her like a teenager...little does she know that I already am. I owe her $875 for babysitting this summer, and she wants me to buy her a laptop in lieu of cash. Fine - I can do that. But she wants to keep it in her room, and she wants to have access to the Internet whenever she wants, wherever she wants to go and I just can't allow that yet. Why not? 'Cause I am an adult and I know what kind of trouble I have gotten myself into - how in the world can I let my baby run rampantly and unaware through the web? The worst part is that I can't even tell her how and why I know personally that unlimited access is bad for her...so I used the whole "I had a friend once who..." example.

The boys needed to clean their room yesterday - no small task for sure. Only, they took hours and hours and all they accomplished was making the mess worse. So, being the hardcore mommy that I am, I sacked everything that was on the floor and took it away. My middle child LOST his mind - and kicked me! "Oh mom, I am so sorry!" he cried with a scared and pitiful look on his face, "I have terrible anger management!". Where does a six year old learn that term? I was so stunned by the kick (and taken aback by the big words from the small mouth) that I numbly continued to sack the toys...and then that child kicked me three more times! Whaaa? I have no experience in how to deal with physical violence. How do you react to such a thing? Quietly, I marched him up the stairs to turn him over to his father...who was just as dumbfounded. "I know what I would do if you were an adult," he growled softly, "But, you are six."

What do we do? He is grounded of course...but is this just an indication of things to come? Is my sweet, passionate, sensitive little man going to be a brawler? Or worse, a child who expresses his rage by taking a gun to school and participating in a Columbine Massacre? And why doesn't he know not to kick his mom? Why doesn't he know not to hurt girls in ANY way? Who's fault is this? How do we fix this?

Ugh.

In other news:
The J-Man & I went to a UNC football game yesterday - we took the motorcycle 'cause we are amazingly cool like that.

Overheard as we dismounted the loud, huge beast: "Wow. I didn't know it was parent's weekend!"

HAHA!