Well. 'Tis Thanksgiving 2006...and I am thankful for many things.
I just wish I was better at holidays. Not for my little family, but for my extended family and my parents.
Dad and Mel invited us to dinner - and we declined. He is very hurt, as is his wife. It is difficult to explain to them how my babies and husband just wanted to make and have dinner all by ourselves this year. So I didn't. I just said we had other plans. And I have heard nothing from him since. I guess I could call him, but I get physically ill when I hear the symptoms of Eeyore Syndrome coming through my dad's strong voice. I am wrong and I know it, but there is nothing I can do to change my attitude.
Speaking of feeling sorry for one's self, I had quite the moment this morning. Jerry and Taylor were busy in the kitchen cooking and having a really great time together - all the while shouting out things for me to add to the shopping list they had prepared for me. Now, I didn't mind going shopping, but for some reason I felt very left out of the holiday proceedings today. Like I didn't belong. Like I had been replaced as the alpha female in my home...
Weird, huh? I am over it now.
Tuesday night, my husband finally came down with the dreaded flu that my children have been spreading (literally) all over my house. Except for it hit him so freakin' hard that I had to take him to the ER. I tried EVERYthing to get his fever down...but after he puked his Tylenol up for the third time and was still shivering with 9 blankets on, I cried Uncle. Placing the obligatory call to the on-call doctor, I was traumatized to hear that he could be going septic after his knee surgery. He could be rendered immobile and his organs might start shutting down if I did not hurry him down to the hospital. You can bet that I hurried...as much as you can hurry while you are dragging a 6'4 man to the car.
We spent all night at the ER, pumping him up with fluids and getting his nausea under control. Turns out he was not going septic after all. And you know what? As much hatred as I had felt for him earlier in the night when he was telling me that he was going to leave me as soon as he could, I felt very tender and loving towards him when I thought he was going to die. What exactly does that say about me? Hmmm.
I haven't asked him now that he is feeling better if he has decided to stay. And I don't really care. There will be plenty of time in the future for him to clarify his intentions.
By the way, I pulled the cable from upstairs THROUGH the wall and floor and hooked my puter up. It looks mighty ghetto right now, but it is just temporary. I swear it is.
Happy Thanksgiving, all!
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