Let the Hollydaze begin!

I took my camera on a date this weekend.

Yeah, we walked around some parks together, we talked to other human/camera couples going by, and we gazed into the lakes and watched the birds...all the while being very in tune with each other.

We even went shopping for more toys for the camera - and if I stop dropping it, I bet those toys will fit just right! I love my camera. Too much. And I am fine with that.

I spent the rest of the weekend working on the 'puter - and OH that was wonderful. I am sure it was startling to some of you though, to have your emails answered and returned almost before you hit send. I was most efficient.

One of the cool things that happened this weekend: A local band has asked me to come shoot their show next weekend. Now, I have done this before obviously, but always for me alone. I am feeling pressure about doing it for someone else. What if they don't like my style? What if I forget my battery? What if I drop the camera? What if I get drunk and crawl on stage WITH them? And those are just my irrational worries. I can't even begin to list the worries that make sense...

I am thinking that this Christmas season we are going to practice forgiveness where it is not justified. We are going to extend love where love is not deserved (I use that term too loosely in this sentence, I know). And let it begin with me - like this : Jerry hung Christmas Lights today - the H Home will look pretty snazzy this year. In response, I am gonna wear some some new items tonight that will help speed along the trimming of MY tree.

And the camera will just have to hang on the doorknob in its case for THIS date.


;)t

I Have a Dream...

Okay...I HAD a dream. And it woke me up, too. I woke up shaking with fear that I had finally given in to the dark side of me and was going to do the Big Beautiful Nasty with a man that was NOT my husband.

It wasn't a sexual dream. I knew the man in real life...he was someone I enjoyed kissing a million years ago before saying "I Do".

I ran into him in my dream at some random house where I was to celebrate Thanksgiving. I intended to throw my arms around his neck and kiss him on the cheek, but the closest I got was him putting his hands on my hips and leaning down to brush his lips against my ear. I think he said something, but as I placed my hands on his hips in return - I knew it was all over, and all I can remember was the roaring in my ears of my face flushing. I was going to give this man everything I am. Body, heart and soul.

And then I woke up.

And I realized that I am so f*cking starved for physical and emotional contact...I actually think my skin is crying out LOUD to be touched.

There was a study that came out recently that women who have an active and vital sex life are much more attention getting and attractive to other humans - something about the pheromones they give off.

I am disappearing.

F*ck.

Happy Thanksgiving to all...

(my dad)

Well. 'Tis Thanksgiving 2006...and I am thankful for many things.

I just wish I was better at holidays. Not for my little family, but for my extended family and my parents.

Dad and Mel invited us to dinner - and we declined. He is very hurt, as is his wife. It is difficult to explain to them how my babies and husband just wanted to make and have dinner all by ourselves this year. So I didn't. I just said we had other plans. And I have heard nothing from him since. I guess I could call him, but I get physically ill when I hear the symptoms of Eeyore Syndrome coming through my dad's strong voice. I am wrong and I know it, but there is nothing I can do to change my attitude.

Speaking of feeling sorry for one's self, I had quite the moment this morning. Jerry and Taylor were busy in the kitchen cooking and having a really great time together - all the while shouting out things for me to add to the shopping list they had prepared for me. Now, I didn't mind going shopping, but for some reason I felt very left out of the holiday proceedings today. Like I didn't belong. Like I had been replaced as the alpha female in my home...

Weird, huh? I am over it now.

Tuesday night, my husband finally came down with the dreaded flu that my children have been spreading (literally) all over my house. Except for it hit him so freakin' hard that I had to take him to the ER. I tried EVERYthing to get his fever down...but after he puked his Tylenol up for the third time and was still shivering with 9 blankets on, I cried Uncle. Placing the obligatory call to the on-call doctor, I was traumatized to hear that he could be going septic after his knee surgery. He could be rendered immobile and his organs might start shutting down if I did not hurry him down to the hospital. You can bet that I hurried...as much as you can hurry while you are dragging a 6'4 man to the car.

We spent all night at the ER, pumping him up with fluids and getting his nausea under control. Turns out he was not going septic after all. And you know what? As much hatred as I had felt for him earlier in the night when he was telling me that he was going to leave me as soon as he could, I felt very tender and loving towards him when I thought he was going to die. What exactly does that say about me? Hmmm.

I haven't asked him now that he is feeling better if he has decided to stay. And I don't really care. There will be plenty of time in the future for him to clarify his intentions.

By the way, I pulled the cable from upstairs THROUGH the wall and floor and hooked my puter up. It looks mighty ghetto right now, but it is just temporary. I swear it is.

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

;)t

Incommunicado

I really didn't fall off the face of the earth. I just have no computer at home right now...

I moved the boys into seperate rooms to cut down on the brawling, and moved my office into their OLD room. Pretty cool right? Yeah, except for the fact that I have no DSL OR dial up in their old room. No computer. And my husband of the recently surgeried-on-knee folk is dragging his feet to rewire for me. And why would he hurry? I am so accesible when I am not online! (Not agreeable - accesible.)

Oral surgery for Jeremy went well, and Taylor and Jory have almost fully recovered from the flu. Jerry is - well, hyped up on some pretty great drugs. To say the least. I really don't like it...I can't wait till he doesn't need them anymore. But I am glad he isn't in too much pain.

I am blogging from work...that makes me giggle!

BTW, 30 Seconds to Mars blew. After four times seeing them - they just suck. And I got a speeding ticket. That will be the last time I go to see them. But don't you worry, I did just secure tix for Dropping Daylight in December. YES!

Have a great week all!~ Talk to you when I can...
;)t

Beegle Noise

(click to enlarge - please)

Last weekend Niel and I got to go see an amazing man and his amazing men play an amazing show. Remember the guy who owns the production company that is going to let me organize his warehouse and perhaps get all of his MySpace pages sorted out? Yeah. His brother is Dave Beegle, one of the most talented guitarists in the world. I feel pretty silly because I hadn't heard much about him until this new phase in my employment happened. But you can bet that I will know all about him pretty soon, 'cause that's just how I roll. Obsessively. (HA! - I wish I was kidding...this dog with a bone thing is exhausting!)

The only bad part of the show? The one and a half bottles of REALLY good wine that I drank with my boss. I was up on a chair shooting pics at one time, and the only way I know that for myself is from the pics of the drummer - poor guy. He must have been frightened by me. Then, I decided to sit on the floor. As evidenced by all of the shots being angled up. At least there is a record of events...

Wednesday is a new 30 Seconds to Mars show...and I am still trying to figure out if I am going to try to take THE camera, or just settle for the concert cam. If I remember correctly, I think I had a hard time getting even the little one into the Filmore last time they were here. I think they should publish a list on the web: which bands are so sissy that they confiscate your camera, and which ones are confident enough in their photogenicness to allow me to experience it. Yeah...a list.

Took my Jeremy to the dentist today, and oh! My poor little man. He has to have a tooth extracted on Wednesday - apparently it is an extra. How in the world do you get extra teeth? I am playing it cool...telling him that he must be destined to grow very big if his body decided to grow extra teeth for all the chewing of food he will have to do. He giggles. That's good - because I sure am cringing on the inside for him - tooth extraction?! ugh.



Things seem to be happening so fast and furious...my little mind doesn't seem to be able to keep up, what with being chemically deprived and all. But I am still enjoying myself for the most part.

Anyone have extra Alice in Chains tix for the 20th?
;)t

Now What?!

I am so tired. Physically and mentally exhausted. No, I haven't any crisis to blame it on, and no, I haven't been staying out all night. I am just tired!

And there are so many weird things happening around me.

Like this:
My cell phone shows that I called my friend Jo at 12:38 in the morning. I had been asleep since 9:00.
My employee badge was missing this morning...I finally found it under my office chair, 20 minutes after I was supposed to be at work.
Things are missing from my desk.
Music has been removed from my computer.
I am so friggin' tired.
Several CD's of mine have been swapped and switched around into the wrong cases - and it isn't the children doing it.
I feel like I have entered into some silly twilight zone - not dangerous, not weird - just ridiculously silly strange zone.

But - I am not smoking.

That is pretty strange, too.
;)t

Middle of the Night Ramblings

...I did indeed Ramble tonight. With WhiteWater Ramble, that is...

I won a spot on tonight's guest list which, of course, made me a bit giddy. However, when we got there, there were seven- count 'em, seven other people there. It wasn't till later that we found out that four of them were part of the band WWR was opening for.

Tuesday night in Colorado. Go figure.

I learned several things tonight.

• I don't like bluegrass. I like JAMgrass - I definitely do not like bluegrass.
  
• One good thing about not smoking is that you have your windows closed when you are driving through quiet neighborhoods at 1 AM singing at the top of your lungs.
• Duncan Sheik is still the sh*t. So is Billy Squier.
  
• Thrash music in the middle of the night is scary.
• Cops no longer have to show their lights when they are hiding in the median.
• Seal makes me miss my gramma...and also makes me feel like she is still here.
• Breakfast is best between midnight and 1AM.
• I am too old to do these late nights more than once a week. Maybe once every two weeks.

I appologize to those bloggers I love that I have not visited in awhile. I think about you all the time - I just keep running out of time to actually communicate ...

I am doing exactly the same thing to my loved ones in real life, too.

Gonna go buy me some balance tomorrow. Know where some is on sale?
;)t

POTUS is IN the House - (no pictures please)

You are NOT going to believe what I got to do today. I got to see the President of the United States of America.

That's right - I was rubbing elbows with Secret Service. I was selling hot coffee and bottled water and fruit to Members of Congress. I was fetching Mountain Dew for PAC members, and popping popcorn for Pollsters and National News Crews.

I enjoyed watching all of our local Police Force and Fire Fighters and Paramedics act like they were somehow granted Secret Service Status because they were in charge of herding the locals around. I wanted to remind them that after the President left they would have to deal with all of the locals they had ticked off while they played bigshots for a few hours.

I loved watching CBS setting up their site to broadcast from, the newscasters looking around in amazement at the primitiveness of their current location. Okay. I didn't love that. I was embarrased.

Although I am not proud of Dubya - in fact, I am rather ashamed that I ever trusted him with my vote, it was amazing to see the sociological experiment of a political rally. I had goosebumps and a lump in my throat when his helicopter landed...and the hair on my arms stood on end when he walked into the arena. The whole event of his arrival was so well timed and choreographed...very moving. I wonder how I would have felt if he was someone I still respected?

Did I get pictures, you ask? Well. Funny story. I HAD the camera...got it through security just fine, didn't drop it even once, and located a secure and lockable cabinet to keep it in while we worked. When the time came to take pictures of the crowd gathering and the local politicians doing their stumping, I was able to find the very best spot in the facility. Cool, huh?

Yeah. If I had remembered to get the battery off the charger and place it in the camera before I left the house, THAT would have been very cool.

Oh well. Next time.
;)

Tricksy Treats, Eggings, Leggings, and Musicians

...So this is what it looks like to go Trick or Treating with the big kids. HA!


Had so much fun that night. I took the boys around the neighborhood and let them revel in our fellow blockster's attention, and grab at all that candy that I hide every year as SOON as we walk back in the door.

But I am not gonna lie - I was secretly glad that it was below freezing that night, because I desperately wanted to get on the road to Fort Collins, and "real cold" meant the boys would want to go home sooner. Neil and I had tix to see Motorhome, Shanti Groove and White Water Ramble PLUS, we had the naughtiest costumes I have ever dared to try on much less wear in public AND the show started at 8:00.

I got dressed, did my makeup, had Jer check me out for good measure, called Niel to let her know I was on my way - and made sure I had plenty of gas for the occasion. The camera plus tripod was tucked in the back for safe keeping.

What I didn't have was a charged up cell phone, so I decided to charge it in the car. One hard braking at a changing light and my phone went shooting off the seat onto the floorboard. Being resourceful, I hauled it back up by the cord, slid it into my lap, and prepared to call home to report my excellent travel skills as I was several minutes ahead of expected arrival.

Only - the antenna of the phone had somehow speared through a few of the holes in my fishnet stockings. I couldn't get the phone off of my lap. Finding myself unable to drive while I unsuccesfully tried to free my phone, I pulled into a parking lot of a large electronics facility. I unscrewed the antenna, twirled it around to loosen it up (that tightened the knots, by the way),tried to slide the knots OVER the antenna,
and fussed and fidgeted my way into a general hissy fit.

That is when security pulled in behind me. No - he didn't help me. No - he didn't laugh at me. Just before he got out of his car I PULLED the antenna THROUGH my stockings, ripping the threads and leaving a nice hole right on the front of my leg.
Crying a little and trying to smile, I waved at him and drove on my way.

Try telling your friends you are late for a party because you got your phone stuck in your fishnet stockings. There is something unbelievable about that. Oh well.

Downtown Fort Collins is a hoot - hippies, college students, yuppies, guppies and bums all in one little microcosm of the universe. Strangely, hoodlums are also attracted to downtown...and one egged me as his car sped by. I know he was aiming for my car, but I walked right into it. Fortunately for me, it bounced off my biker jacket and splatted on the street. That was pretty cool. Cool and random. Whatever.

The concert was GREAT! Motorhome was a pretty crazy, yet enjoyable jam band. Shanti Groove was exceptionally entertaining that night - and of course WhiteWater Ramble made every single soul in the place dance like idiots. Yes. Even me.

The only uncool part? Waiting in line for 20 minutes a pop just to get a drink. I drank beer so that I could stay relatively sober and not blow my quit (which I haven't yet - going on 13 days), but those silly bartenders would serve every guy around me and ignore Niel and I just because we were girls and potentially lower tippers than the men. (OBviously, they didn't know how very well we tip. And yet that night, I became a very low tipper.) Some slimeball snaked his way in beside me JUST as one of the wenches was coming to get my drink order - and so I started making a scene about how "HEY! This guy is CUTTING! CUTTTTTING!!!" I sounded like I was two years old.

I am ashamed of that moment. And noone really cared about that guy cutting except for me. Ugh.

But - I did not try to fight him OR knock him down. I am making progress.



(that is my friend and Niel's Man Howie standing on his bass while playing - he amazes me...)