I don't even know where to start. I want to say witty and wonderful things, yet all I am left with is a fog of confusion...
E called me tonight. Out of the blue. Just a little, trembly voice asking for Terri.
Me: this is Terri (in my calmest, most nurturing tone because the other voice was so emotional)
E: umm...Terri? Do you know who this is?
Me: No sweetie, I don't. Are you okay, though?
E: umm...yeah, I am just really nervous. Please don't tell anyone - promise you won't tell anyone I am calling you...
Me: I won't, hon. I promise. I swear. What is it I can help you with tonight, my dear?
And then she told me who she was...the baby girl I gave up for adoption 16 years ago.
Right now, I am so happy and terrified and confused and glad and all sorts of conflicting things. We had a wonderful conversation...but then her parents came home. From the tone of the voices in the background, I am thinking tonight is not a good night in her household right now. They are upset that she called me and there is nothing I can do about that.
I should have told her to call back when her parents knew what she was up to, but how do you suggest such a thing without making a child feel unwanted? I was mesmerized by the sound of her voice, and I wanted moremoremore!
I feel like my entire life changed tonight - on a dime, so to speak.
And I am thrilled and frightened to see what is coming next.