6.25.2006

I don't even know where to start. I want to say witty and wonderful things, yet all I am left with is a fog of confusion...

E called me tonight. Out of the blue. Just a little, trembly voice asking for Terri.

Me: this is Terri (in my calmest, most nurturing tone because the other voice was so emotional)

E: umm...Terri? Do you know who this is?

Me: No sweetie, I don't. Are you okay, though?

E: umm...yeah, I am just really nervous. Please don't tell anyone - promise you won't tell anyone I am calling you...

Me: I won't, hon. I promise. I swear. What is it I can help you with tonight, my dear?

And then she told me who she was...the baby girl I gave up for adoption 16 years ago.

Right now, I am so happy and terrified and confused and glad and all sorts of conflicting things. We had a wonderful conversation...but then her parents came home. From the tone of the voices in the background, I am thinking tonight is not a good night in her household right now. They are upset that she called me and there is nothing I can do about that.

I should have told her to call back when her parents knew what she was up to, but how do you suggest such a thing without making a child feel unwanted? I was mesmerized by the sound of her voice, and I wanted moremoremore!

I feel like my entire life changed tonight - on a dime, so to speak.

And I am thrilled and frightened to see what is coming next.
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