It is Finished...

...and besides the excruciating pain that shot through my heart when my ex-husband erroneously stated our date of marriage, and also my middle son's birthday - it was just fine! Fifteen minutes. In and out. Here you are married, and now you aren't! Slick, ah?

The director of my department went with me. She ordered me to find someone to go with me (Yes! Like homework!) and then when I could not round anyone up, she canceled a four hour department seminar so that she herself could go sit in an empty courtroom with Jerry and I and his lawyer and the judge for 15 minutes. And she cried.
And cried.
And sniffled.
It was very sweet.

Sweet but scary because...

When will I cry?

Will I?

Am I dead inside now? Or is there nothing to cry about?

Not that I want to cry. I just want to have assurance that my current emotions are genuine.

My current emotions are... happyrelievedfreeexhiliratedsadlonelyangryecstaticcurious.

...Yeah. :)


Jeff said...

I guess you might just be a tad emotional at the present time, yes? You are just not really sure which one to run with.....

I am guessing that your emotions will chose to be with you one at a time when they are ready. I am also guessing that you will have little to no say in which one you will experience at any given time for a while.

I am just wishing you healing, and happiness!

Sarah said...

I'm really happy to hear that the dir. of your dept went with you. I hope this is the beginning of a happier time in your life.

Along the way said...

I'm happy that someone went with you. I didn't even attend my own divorce hearing lol. I'm sure all your feelings are churned up inside and one by one, in their own time, they will trickle out.

lyss said...

Ms TB ~ I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I was assuming you weren't even posting to this anymore. I'm glad M V went with you. She is incredibly supportive and cares more than she lets on sometimes.

I miss you. I will be back to work soon.
loves, lyss