Sunshine-y Moment

Lil H's
Originally uploaded by tielji

There are moments in time where everything lines up just right.

Perfectly.

Beautifully.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Yes, I have bills due. Yes, I have homework due and a quiz to take that I have no chance of passing (stupid college algebra - HATE it!). Yes, I miss my kids. Yes, I still am working life out day-to-day.

But guess what? I will always have a bill or two due...that's the way it is. And I love the fact that I get to do homework! How awesome is it that I am back in school?! And my kids come home on Sunday - lots of mommies don't get to say such a wonderful thing. And working life out in a day-to-day fashion keeps me humble and grateful.

...and now I am going to go crawl into a bed next to my sweetheart - I am a very blessed girl.

Tell me - what was the very best thing about your week? :)

Perspective

Perspective

Originally uploaded by tielji

It's all about perspective.

I know this.

We can each look at the same event and come away with a different life lesson or opinion.

We can change our attitude just by changing how we view our circumstances.

Sometimes, though? Sometimes I can't change my perspective and it takes a drastic measure on the Universe's part to wrench my gaze back to what really matters.

I tend to be a bit obsessive. I lock on to an idea, an exchange with another person, a relationship, or a hurt - mostly on to hurts and worries, and I can't break free. I mull it over fifty different directions, I dig up all of the details for rehashing, I talk about it incessantly, I make plans based on it's importance - and then when my focus changes, I look back and despise myself for my previous conduct. As you can probably guess, I get obsessed about my obsessiveness!

Do you, my dear friends, think that this lack of perspective/obsession problem is a chemical thing? A human condition? A gender issue? A psychotic tendency? An indicator of maturity?

I shall check back incessantly to see your answers.

:)t

Entwined

Entwined
Originally uploaded by tielji

We are strands of barbed wire.

With sharp words that shred and gouge each other, we try to protect our boundaries. We position ourselves for maximum security, minimal intrusion.

Our strength lies in steely resolution. It is maintained through tautness and and a resistance to the elements.

How lonely.

Let's, you and I, align ourselves. Let's entangle in such a way that our barbs don't dig at one another. Let's use our strength and stark beauty to bring peace to our granted parcels of earth, and to establish boundaries where nothing but love may enter.

Let's support each other's purpose.

Let's entwine.

Grilled

Grilled
Originally uploaded by tielji

Happy New Year, Friends. May 2011 bring you much joy, peace and blessings.


Tomorrow my kids go back to school. Tonight - after being on Christmas Vacation for the past...what? Three and a half weeks? ... my youngest son announces at the dinner table that he has 11 pages of homework due in the morning.

Eleven. Pages.

I know what you are thinking - surely since he is only in fourth grade, these are eleven worksheets with minimal effort required, right?

Uh-uh. Nope. Eleven pages of long division/cross-multiplication and graphing - with some word problems interspersed for maximum anxiety.

Because I want to be a good mommy (or at least appear to be a good mommy a few minutes of every day because I am sure that will add up over time to having a few years of appearing to be a good mommy) I sat with him at the kitchen table, with water glasses, a calculator (to check our answers only), and two pencils at the ready.

Things went just fine for the first 4 pages. The kid has long division down. No worries.

The fifth page? Cross-multiplying. The kid does NOT have this down. And the longer I tried to explain why the method he was using was wrong (as evidenced by the very wrong answers he was coming up with!!) the more he insisted that his teacher taught him how to do it just. that. way., and now I was trying to confuse him and get him in trouble with his teacher.

As he ultimately melted down into a puddle of anger, raging about how his teacher must have lied to him if he was wrong because she told him he did it right, *screambawlsniffwhine* I totally got why parents talk about struggling to help their kids with homework. I always thought it was because we just aren't as smart as we once were, and these kids are kicking our arses with the math and sciences they do these days!

I don't think that is the reason anymore. Well, maybe sometimes. But mostly - I think we don't want to help because it is just one more opportunity to have a power struggle. To have a fight with our loved ones. One more arena where parents get to reap what they sowed when they were being helped by their own parents way back in the day. One more place to battle and say things that we don't necessarily mean (WHY can't you just GET this? If you will just LISTEN to me instead of playing DUMB ....no honey, I don't think you are dumb. That is NOT what I said. No it isn't. NO it ISN'T. Fine! You think you know so much??! Time for you to go to bed! You can take this up with your TEACHER in the MORNING - and then you can tell me TOMORROW NIGHT how smart you are!! ....Love you, honey....sweet dreams....*sniff* ...you okay? I do love you...*sigh*) and one more opportunity to regret another parental transgression.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go work on seven more pages of math homework before I go to bed. Night, all.

:)t