8.20.2010

Stupid Girl

That's right. I said it.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, stupid girl.

I didn't make it over the last hurdle without falling flat on my face. The skinned elbows and knees pale in comparison to the gouges I caused on the inside.

You know, I wanted to break up because I didn't want either one of us to settle for less.

Instead, I became worse than less. I became the proverbial "booty call". 

Willingly. Over and over.

I am so ashamed. 

I am not as healthy now as I was even three years ago. 

I am less respectable today than I was three years ago, too.

...stupid girl.

6 comments:

terri said...

I think there is a direct correlation between my downward spiral and lack of creative writing and the lack of feedback...hmmm. Guess that makes sense.
:)

ColleenQ said...

We've all been here, sweetie (and maybe was STUPID GIRL for years. I'm just sayin'). I feel like anything I say will be cliche'. You're a beautiful, healthy, sparkling ray of sunshine and you'll get over this hurdle, so there!

terri said...

Really, CQ? Years? Really? I love it when you tell me these things!!

Cliche' is something that you can never be, my dear.

Thank you for the sweet words and the reassurance. I will get over this hurdle. Just not with as much grace as I had hoped, I guess. :)

CausedByKarma said...

soooooo, was the sex great? or was it just so-so?

just curious. i know ... i have a tendency to zoom in on the trivial crap -- but hey! it's what i do.

Bender's Better Brother said...

I think we've all done that but having someone as a booty call who you feel something for, strong feelings for, doesn't work. You've got to cut them dead, self preservation. More often than not it's a booty call to the man and something different to the woman but you seem to have caught yourself on now at least. Happened to a friend on mine recently, he kept ringing, she kept shagging him, he kept ringing...

terri said...

CBK - the trivial crap is the marketable part, right? So I think you have the right vantage point!

Monty - you are dead on. And now that I have put a moratorium on such occasions, I am healing much faster. But extremely sexually frustrated. :)