Stupid Girl

That's right. I said it.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, stupid girl.

I didn't make it over the last hurdle without falling flat on my face. The skinned elbows and knees pale in comparison to the gouges I caused on the inside.

You know, I wanted to break up because I didn't want either one of us to settle for less.

Instead, I became worse than less. I became the proverbial "booty call". 

Willingly. Over and over.

I am so ashamed. 

I am not as healthy now as I was even three years ago. 

I am less respectable today than I was three years ago, too.

...stupid girl.


terri said...

I think there is a direct correlation between my downward spiral and lack of creative writing and the lack of feedback...hmmm. Guess that makes sense.

ColleenQ said...

We've all been here, sweetie (and maybe was STUPID GIRL for years. I'm just sayin'). I feel like anything I say will be cliche'. You're a beautiful, healthy, sparkling ray of sunshine and you'll get over this hurdle, so there!

terri said...

Really, CQ? Years? Really? I love it when you tell me these things!!

Cliche' is something that you can never be, my dear.

Thank you for the sweet words and the reassurance. I will get over this hurdle. Just not with as much grace as I had hoped, I guess. :)

CausedByKarma said...

soooooo, was the sex great? or was it just so-so?

just curious. i know ... i have a tendency to zoom in on the trivial crap -- but hey! it's what i do.

Bender's Better Brother said...

I think we've all done that but having someone as a booty call who you feel something for, strong feelings for, doesn't work. You've got to cut them dead, self preservation. More often than not it's a booty call to the man and something different to the woman but you seem to have caught yourself on now at least. Happened to a friend on mine recently, he kept ringing, she kept shagging him, he kept ringing...

terri said...

CBK - the trivial crap is the marketable part, right? So I think you have the right vantage point!

Monty - you are dead on. And now that I have put a moratorium on such occasions, I am healing much faster. But extremely sexually frustrated. :)