4.20.2010

Have you seen my White Jacket?

I  am writing in the wrong blog again. 

I don't care.

They are my blogs and I will write wherever I please. So there. 

(I used to fancy me a Norwegian once who would say "So that!" ..I really did enjoy watching him misappropriate silly English phrases.)

Do any of you know what to do with panic attacks? I have had them since I was a teenager, but always thought it was something else. Inner ear infection, pregnancy, malnourishment, etc. As I got older I started labeling them my intuition...my warning sign that something bad was happening somewhere. And I would also take a pregnancy test just to make sure that it wasn't THAT. 

I have had one ongoing panic attack since Saturday night. I cannot keep food down, my heart races, I am dizzy, nauseous...it's ridiculous! My only reprieves have been when I have finally fallen asleep, or when my dear friend fed me beer until I couldn't feel my heart pounding through my shirt anymore. The worst part is the wrenching in the pit of my belly. Ugh.

I think I am starting to panic about my panicking.

And yes, I already took the pregnancy test. It has been so long that I had to look the results up on the internet to make sure I hadn't read them wrong. It was negative. Don't you worry. 

Now, you tell ME not to worry.
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