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"Quart? Are you still coming over tonight?" D asks with some bewilderment attached. I have yet to drive to Denver since the weekend before last...a complete change in the schedule we have kept for the last year and three months.
But I am going tonight. And I am excited.
We have disected the weekend (his idea) to find our disconnect, and to make sure it doesn't happen again. Communication seems to be the biggest factor - I assume much more than I actually ask. He doesn't tell me because he assumes I already know. What a mess.
But MOST importantly, I had some decisions to make and some growing up to do. I know, hard to believe, ah?
I am the one who put myself in the precarious adoring girlfriend position. That in itself does not entail me to any special privileges...more, it puts me at a disadvantage. I cannot expect someone else to give as much as I do just because it's fair.
I have to pull back so that I don't get so resentful, so dissillusioned - so...so...DRAMATIC!
Yes, I am embarrased and yes a bit redfaced, but I am determined to practice this relationship skill NOW while it matters so that I won't have to put anyone else through this brain damage.
And you won't have to cringe for me so much in the future when you read my posts! :)
8 comments:
I think I have told you in the past that this picture was forbidden! You look cute, and I look like a man! Shame on you TLGH!!
Shhhh...be quiet...I can't hear you,MysLyssFanzypantz!
(Forbidden? That might be the problem, don't you think? Have you MET me???)
A good cringe now and then is good for the soul.
Too much though and you run the risk of aquiring one of those old woman humps on the back.
I know. My Mother has a big one...
My #1 flaw: I always assume others are thinking/feeling the same way I am. Any idea how rarely this actually happens? I'll only find happiness with my twin, I'm sure of it.
That said, I wish I was a lesbian. And lived near you. Or at least could help in some sort of bf training program with you. Sigh.
Thank goodness one of us is figuring out this relationship crap!
P.S. Today I found out that my ex-husband is married to a Terri with an -i. I didn't even know he was married...why can't she be you???
... :( ...
I am speechless.
But I do have a theory on why it couldn't be me, and that's because you and I are very much alike and you already decided for us that he wasn't good husband material.
That's why.
But if it WAS me, I would be very envious of the ex.
You should pity her, really. Can you imagine how upsetting it would be to find out that your spouse won't tell anyone about your existence?? He is obviously ashamed and doesn't want you to see how far he has fallen since he lost you.
Yeah. So think about THAT!
:)
Lets go drink something. Something like lemonaid and keep each other outa trouble.
I love you, and the fact that we are a bit intense. Its who we are.
Love,
fancyface
Oh Kat - I must say that I have always wondered where the hump comes from and how I could avoid such a thing - glad you set me straight! :)
Bec - can you come outside and play now? I promise I won't let you get into any trouble. Nor will I cause any.
And I love you, too.
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