There she goes...there she goes again...

I have some good news: I am not crazy anymore. Or at least my moments of clarity are lasting much longer.

I have some bad news: I am very depressed. And all of my monkey-like pressing of the levers is not bringing me joy or relief like it used to.

I have this overwhelming urge to dump everything in my life and start all over. A new creation.

I think I will wait this urge out just a bit longer.

Perhaps it is just more crazy in disguise.

Seafoods & Serenades

(my office's inaugural girls' night out)

So, it's Saturday. Saturday. Saturday the 16th. Should I not be jumping up and down with anticipation to go see Dropping Daylight and Monty are I tonight?! Oh yes, I should be. But I am not. They are stuck in Utah...stupid snowstorm. And I am here...stuck in G-Town. The injustice is excruciating. And also? They won't be back this way until February! What?!

Whatever.

Taylor's birthday was awesome - thank you for asking. For some reason she thinks that Red Lobster is a great place to go for a celebration, and it is very difficult to convince her that being in the center of this land mass we call home means that all seafood eaten here must have been frozen at some point. We went to Red Lobster anyway...and had a great time, even with less-than-fresh seafood. It wasn't the service or the atmosphere, and definitely not the food that made it great, rather it was the table next to us.

As we were ordering our dinner Jeremy announced to the server that it was his sister's birthday. Two minutes later, we have a large black man at the head of our table telling us that he has a predicament that he needs our help with. Apparently, he was told by his girlfriend that he could either come sing a song to Taylor or be stuck with the household dishes for one whole week. He begged Taylor to let him serenade her...to which she delightedly agreed. Happy Birthday never sounded sweeter, and the accompanying slight hand movements reminded me of Luther Vandross. So lovely...

When he was done I turned to thank the girlfriend for the wonderful gift, placing my hand on her shoulder to let her know that I was right behind her. The face that turned around to greet mine wore the scariest grin I have ever seen. Teeth missing, blotchy face sores and black spots on her remaining fangs were all I could see of her as I stumbled through my thanks. Wow.

That's when one of her two disheveled children jumped out of his seat to run and put his head between Jer and I's shoulders to add a loud and off key "Chachacha - Charmin ULTRA" to end his future father's song.

If that wasn't enough, the other child wearing pants that had no remaining zipper and a ratty sweatshirt came running alongside the table to say (and I swear to god he said this): "Look what I can do!" and then promptly knocked himself in the forehead with his knee.

I wasn't sure what we were all feeling after their performances. Of course we laughed at their antics...and then we talked about how nice they were for sharing their talents with us. And then we talked about how blessed we are and how it would be so nice to reach out to other families like that one had us. And then we discussed how grateful we are for our health and our nice clothes and great home and awesome family.

They gave a gift to all of us on Taylor's Birthday just by not being afraid to interact with other human beings. By being themselves. By not being ashamed of all of the things working against them...and by celebrating all of the things working for them.

I have so much to learn.

Releasing of Fingers...

Oh...wow...I had no idea it had been so long since I blogged. I can't even begin to explain why. It has almost been like a phobia - a blogaversion. Is there such a thing? I would come to the computer, start to sit down, and literally my body would make a left turn and I would exit the office out the other door.

Then I would think later about all of the things I wanted to say...and yet, I could not get the words to come through my fingers. Whatever blockage was there, this morning it seems to be gone.

My photo shoot last weekend was so much fun, and the band reports that they really like them. They also asked if I would be available for future concert dates and some promotional studio shots. I can't begin to tell you how good that makes my little heart feel.

Tonight I am attending a release party for Dave Beegle - and although I have been asked to work, I have no idea what that means. Is that camera work? Is it merch booth work? Is it taking out the trash after everyone has left?

You know what? I don't care. I am just so honored to be invited. I might want to tell them, though, that I don't do windows.

Tomorrow is my daughters 14th birthday. Has it really been 14 years since my gorgeous, taller-than-me, smarter-than-I-ever-hoped-to-be, most-creative-child-on-the-face-of-the-planet was born? Feels like it was yesterday...

She worked a catering with me last night. Like all mothers, I worried about her work ethic and her ability to be a team player, and her ability to put her heart and soul into everything she does even if it is something not so enjoyable. I will never worry about that again. She worked just as hard as I did and fit in with my crew like she had always been part of us. Amazing. I am so very proud of her.

The only moment that gave me pause? When the DJ came out and she knew every word to that stupid SexyBack song. That's okay...she was a little horrified when I knew where the double-up-UH-UH in Baby Got Back came in. We did the Electric Slide together in the kitchen. I have a feeling her college graduation party will be a scene to end all scenes.


I am hoping that today is wonderful for all of you...it is such a crazy time of year, and it seems to go so fast. Please enjoy the Christmas Time Warp - it will be the doldrums of January before we know it.
;)t