I lost my Grandma Louise on Nov 8th and my dad on Nov 10th and my body is still keeping score. Lord almighty! It's been several years (30 for GL and 9 for my dad) and I still find myself incapacitated even if only briefly.
I have this vague impression lately that I am army crawling through my days, just trying to get to the next one. There is a version of a healthy me on the horizon that just keeps floating out of reach - this frail and depleted me hopes that if I just keep reaching, I will be able to obtain what I seek. Guh.
It's bewildering because my nutrition is good, my sleep is good, my friendships are good. There is some fragility in my relationships with family that needs healed, but it's not untenable - just mildly uncomfortable at times.
Please, Baby Jesus, let it be a just a phase.
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