Rage on Down the Road

Home Slice, a photo by Gypsy Scribe on Flickr.

I have been trying to deal with this road rage issue once and for all. Every time I think I have it licked, I am sent a test from above. And I fail. 

A couple of months ago my test was sent in the form of a driver whose car apparently wasn't equipped with accessible mirrors or blinkers. Or the driver just didn't feel like using them that day. In rush hour traffic. So, of course the car slid right over in front of me where there was no room for another car - without signaling. I know, I know. I should have just let her in, slowed down to adjust for her presence and then focused on happier things. Things like this happen all of the time, right?

But no. I didn't. She not only cut me off, she was also going to go a full 5 miles lower than the speed limit IN the passing lane. (I do hear me sounding like a spoiled brat, believe me.) So...I honked at her. It didn't phase her. I honked again. Nothing. Flashed my lights. She slowed down. Tried to pass her. She sped up. Ugh.

After about 15 miles of this nonsense we finally came to town, and of course I was in the turning lane right behind her. So I decided to follow her. Where to? I dunno. I wasn't going to follow her home. But SHE didn't know that. She started to take turns, and so did I - nothing too alarming, but I was doing some fancy mommy talking to myself ("What are you trying to accomplish? How is this going to end well? Stop this right now!") and finally, FINALLY, I decided to let this slight go. There was no way to win. So, I conceded and drove past her when she made one more left turn. 

And wouldn't you know? She swerved back in to my lane behind me and then was following ME! HA! That was some scary stuff right there. I honestly didn't know what to do. 

I stopped in a gas station parking lot, yanked my car keys, jumped out of the car, and met her face-forward as she came in to the parking lot. I am so glad she didn't have a gun - and whatever look on my face or crazy tough girl posturing I was putting out must have worked. I motioned for her to stop and talk to me (whatever motion that is, I guess) but she just kept on going. Right back out of the parking lot.  Phew.

I was worried, SO worried, that she had called the police or had her family coming after me for backup. But then I realized: She really didn't have a leg to stand on in the end. In the end, she was the hunter and I was the prey. She was following me. I was the pursued, not the pursuer. Right?!

Ugh.

I need a chauffeur. 

Free Five Minute Personalty Test (!)

Free five minute personalty test



I take this every once in awhile - just to see if my personality has improved. I think the answer is no.

 Here are my newest results:

Your Existing Situation "Is stubborn and strong-willed, once her mind is made up it is impossible to change it. she does not ask for much, so she feels when she does ask her needs should be met." Your Stress Sources "Unfulfilled hopes have left her feeling uncertain and even a little fearful about the future. Needs to feel secure and avoid further disappointment; fears she will be looked over, lose her position, or lose respect. Has little hope that things will get better in time and her negative attitude leads her to place impossible demands on others or to compromise or bargain." Your Restrained Characteristics "Self-centered, tends to take this personally and is easily offended." Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being. Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. she is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity. "Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation." "Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. she is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity, as long as there is not a lot of conflict or emotional difficulty." Your Desired Objective "Wishes to live in a calm, peaceful, relaxing environment, where everyone gets along and there is a strong sense of belonging." Your Actual Problem Disappointed because her hopes have not come to pass and she fears coming up with new goals will only lead to further disappointment. These conflicting emotions lead to a feeling of anxiety and depression. she tries to escape into a peaceful and calm relationship which offers encouragement and protection from further disappointment.

- See more at: http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,7,2,5,0,6,3,1,4,6,1,7,2,5,0,3,6,4,1&p=full#sthash.9E2krens.dpuf

Boundaries

boundaries, a photo by Gypsy Scribe on Flickr.

I am:

•  politically discouraged. 

• in love with my children. Every one of them. Ridiculously so.

• bored.

• apprehensive.

• disappointed with my level of personal accountability. 

• grateful for a new life  - especially when I see my old life through others' eyes.

• encouraged by the blessings that turn up every day.

• still me.  

All Apologies

cutting edge, a photo by Gypsy Scribe on Flickr.

I have been thinking about apologies lately. Obsessing might be the correct term. Not that I am obsessing over who I owe an apology to - just whether or not I should actually follow through on said apology.

Would it make a difference? Who would it make a difference to? Am I apologizing for my own sake? Or am I saying I am sorry to make someone else feel better? What is my motivation? Do I really owe the apology, or am I reacting to someone else's guilt trip? Am I trying to aleviate my own shame? Do I even need to feel ashamed? Is there more that I should be feeling ashamed about? Am I addressing every wrong that needs addressing? Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

See what I mean?

Guh.